Entangled 1

 

I know I’m drunk, but I just can’t stop drinking. I had planned to get drunk anyway, to escape what cannot be escaped.

Sometimes we deceive ourselves, live in denial. Try to run away from what cannot be escaped.

It was just a one night stand

It was just a fling

An attempt to escape from my unhappiness and disillusion.

I know it isn’t possible to have it all. Heck, who does? At least, not in this world. Maybe in the world to come.

I hadn’t planned to live my life like this. I hadn’t planned to be unhappy. I am a good person, a good man by all standards. I do not think I deserve the cross that is hanging so heavily on my neck. No one does.

It is said you must lie on your bed, the way you’ve laid it. I had laid mine well. I had done the needful. It just had not worked out, the way I planned.

I stare fixedly at the clock on the wall, adjacent my table. I have difficulty focussing on the hands of the clock

‘Can it be 11: 30pm?. But, I haven’t been here long!’

I try to count the bottles on the table….I cannot focus, the bottles appear to be doing a disappearing act. 

I shake my head, more in despair.

Is there a way out for me? Can I find a way out? A kinda lifeline?

I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look up, into my driver’s face

‘ Oga, let us come and be going'

I am belligerent. Who is he to tell me when to leave?

‘ Gerraway you!’ I slurred

‘ Oga its past midnight’ he tries to reason with me

I try to grab a bottle with which to hit him, but the bottle seems so far away, unreachable

‘ Madam has called sir' instantly , I am alert. Madam has always held a magic wand for me. It is as if a bucket of cold water has just been poured on my body.

I allow myself to be helped up and slowly, me leaning heavily on my driver, we make our way to the car.

To be continued…