Unknown 3

Life fell into a steady pattern. I would stay at home whilst hubby worked as a business man. The nature of the 'business' I knew not. He always patted my arm condescendingly whenever I asked him. Apparently the great oaf felt such things were not meant for feminine heads!

Anyways, why should I care? I was well taken care of, my mother and siblings got regular and generous allowances monthly and they were happy….very happy at my own unhappy expense.

I think I know not how to be happy. I have always been very melancholic even as a child. Always kept to myself except for my brief fling of sorts. Maybe happiness was never going to be my thing. Maybe happiness is only for certain groups of people 

Whilst hubby was at his ‘ business', I spent my time exploring the house. It was enormous and we have a maid and a cook to assist. Hubby was a traditionalist…his wife had to prepare all his meals. I had no issues with it as it gave me something to do. I do not know how to be idle and I would look for opportunities to be engaged. ….well….until I started waddling. My baby lay heavily against my bladder during my seventh month. I cannot describe the discomfort I had started feeling.

My mother was preparing to come for  ‘omugwo', the traditional role mothers play in rearing their grandchildren. She was excited at the prospect of her first grandchild and often chided me for my indifference.

My EDD came and went and my mother had to travel to be with me. She was so worried. I on the other hand secretly wished the baby had died or was about to.

Two weeks afterwards I was induced and gave birth to a boy. A healthy baby weighing all of three kilogrammes and some. My stunning image and I could not help but fall heads over heels in love. This child, my son of comfort. My hope in this marriage.

Hubby was excited it was a boy. It ‘confirmed' his manliness. I hugged my son desperately to my chest and wouldn’t allow hubby touch him. Everyone was perplexed. I didn’t want him staining and tainting my son, yes, mine, not ours!

Eventually the gynecologist explained my behaviour was as a result of fatigue. I laughed! They all looked at me strangely. I smiled sweetly at them. I knew they thought I was having some form of mental instability but I didn’t bleeding care.

Eventually I was sedated and whilst in the throes of sleep, I watched hubby try to carry my son, I was enraged but I couldn’t reach for my baby as a strange numbness had taken over my body.

To be continued…..