Unknown 4

 

I was told I slept with reckless abandon. The injection I was given felt like an overdose and I woke up feeling so lethargic….so lethargic I had forgotten I had just given birth! It was the cry of my son beside me that made me stir and the look of adoration I gave him, made him gurgle at me. Chai! I’m crazy about this boy! My one and only. My light in the darkness of my life. My sunshine, my beacon of hope and love. I carried him in my arms and thought of the name to give him as my mother bustled in inquiring as to what I wanted to eat. Eat? Suddenly I felt ravenous. I hadn’t eaten for close to twenty four hours. I ordered for pounded yam and white soup. My husband had booked a private room in a very expensive hospital for us. We got whatever we wanted to get, whenever we wanted it, and how we wanted it. All this my mother observed and thanked her chi that her daughter was ‘ well married!’

I ate when my food arrived with much gusto. My mother held my son as they both watched me eat. My mother started crying softly. I looked at her perplexed, the well lubricated ball of pounded yam which was about to enter my mouth, suspended mid air as I enquired as to the tears

‘Hmmm. I’m just thinking how I wish your father were here to see his first grandchild'

‘I wouldn’t be married, mama if papa was still alive. I would have been in a university abroad, studying like my mates!’ I retorted sharply 'Not married off to a man I despise like an animal!’ I snarled

I think it was the venom in my voice and eyes that shut her up. She quietly cleaned her tears and cradled my son who had started to whimper. I knew he was upset because I was upset and I was sorry.

I had lost appetite at this time and pushed the half eaten dish away. After washing my hands, I fell asleep shortly afterwards.

I was discharged a few days later. My husband had hired an interior decorator to re-design the nursery for his first son. Igbo men are so proud of their sons, especially their first son. I loved the design and I and Sean(which was the name I gave my son because I  was a big Sean Connery fan back then)would spend hours playing in it.

Life was good, again. Mother spent one full year with us, taking care of both Sean and I. My hubby would hurry home to carry Sean. I had to learn to bare it, as I had no choice.

Mother went back to the village in one of my husband's cars, laden with all manner of foodstuffs, expensive fabrics, and plenty of cash. I saw the pride in her eyes and smiled at her, mockingly as her eyes shifted away from mine, uneasily.

I read widely to Sean from the many books I had in my library. We had so much fun together. The first word he spoke was ‘mom’ which made me so very happy. Sean was very intelligent, a very quick learner indeed. 

Soon enough he was taken from me. School did take him away from me.

To be continued