Life With Tutu

  I got married to ‘ Madam', two decades ago. I had just finished bagging a masters degree in Mechanical engineering from the University of Aberdeen, in Scotland. Father had insisted I come home to run the thriving mechanical plant we had in Nigeria. I was not tempted to stay back, I found the life in the UK, cold and unyielding and so as soon as I was done, I found my way back, to Nigeria. I was naïve around women, I knew little about them being a reserved and introspective person. I was an only child and generally I amused myself.  Father and mother thought it wise I settle down with a girl from ‘ a good family’, before taking on the reins of the MD/ CEO of Kinetics. And so, the search for a suitable bride begun. Not long afterwards, I was introduced to a lady, the daughter of my father’s old friend. The family  had just relocated to Nigeria from the States. That was how I was introduced to ‘ Madam' and encouraged to cultivate a relationship with her. I was however indi...

  I know I’m drunk, but I just can’t stop drinking. I had planned to get drunk anyway, to escape what cannot be escaped. Sometimes we deceive ourselves, live in denial. Try to run away from what cannot be escaped. It was just a one night stand It was just a fling An attempt to escape from my unhappiness and disillusion. I know it isn’t possible to have it all. Heck, who does? At least, not in this world. Maybe in the world to come. I hadn’t planned to live my life like this. I hadn’t planned to be unhappy. I am a good person, a good man by all standards. I do not think I deserve the cross that is hanging so heavily on my neck. No one does. It is said you must lie on your bed, the way you’ve laid it. I had laid mine well. I had done the needful. It just had not worked out, the way I planned. I stare fixedly at the clock on the wall, adjacent my table. I have difficulty focussing on the hands of the clock ‘Can it be 11: 30pm?. But, I haven’t been here long!’ I try to count the bottle...

It was the year 2014, I had only recently been inducted in the Medical and Dental council of Nigeria. Naso e happen. We heard people were dying of a strange disease in Liberia, Sierra Leone, it was Ebola. Eventually, what we feared most happened, Patrick Sawyer brought the disease with him to Nigeria. 🙆🏽‍♂️ I was told there was going to be a meeting that day to determine our Ebola response. At the end of the meeting, we concluded that to better help Lagosians and Nigerians, we needed data. Data on what Nigerians know about Ebola, how they were likely to respond, attitude and practice. Nigeria had never experienced anything like this before. Worse still, the incidence was in Lagos, the nation's commercial capital. While government was figuring out what to do, I decided to volunteer in any way possible to help my country. Naso, I go Yaba- Infectious Disease Hospital aka IDH. Quickly the senior colleagues drafted an expansive questionnaire and divided volunteers into teams of 2 to g...

I dressed carefully for the meeting with my estranged husband. If I’m going down let me do so with some dignity. What I did was bad, but fear was the key. What is the  essence of marriage anyways, is it not forgiveness and forgiving? The door bell rang at some minutes past two pm. I opened the door and came face to face with my soon to be, ex husband. He had lost weight, he looked a bit haggard. My heart went out to him. His look suggested he still cared, somehow. We sat down in silence. The silence stretched for minutes. I kept stealing glances at him, but he looked slightly bored. He cleared his throat. ‘ I’m here now, Keji. What do you have to say?’ I looked at him with a wealth of remorse and love in my eyes ‘ I am sorry for lying to you. I was scared to lose you. Many guys had come and gone because of my condition. Please forgive me. I am so very sorry. I don’t want to lose you.’ I didn’t know when tears started dripping from my eyes. I pleaded with him from the depth of my he...

We were married, at long last! I was so excited on my wedding day , I prayed I wouldn’t have crises. Sometimes anxiety, excitement, heightened emotions can bring it about. Thankfully, my fear did not materialise. I danced and danced. No one knew I could dance that well. My happiness brought it out of me. I was so happy I couldn’t eat through out the day. Three days after my wedding, I had crises. I woke up my body intertwined with my husband’s to terrible back pains. I started groaning. My husband woke up to the groaning. He was alarmed ‘ hospital…hospital’ I managed to mutter He kept asking me what was wrong. The poor man was clueless. We got to the hospital. The doctor just took one glance at me and ordered I be admitted. Hubby carried me into the ward. I was on admission for three days. As soon as hubby ushered me back from the hospital ‘ Why didn’t you tell me you have Sickle Cell Anaemia?’ I looked everywhere but at him. I bit my lower lip in despair, tears rolling down my...

If you were abandoned by your father as a little girl, you might have a different mentality as regards choosing a life partner. We think differently anyways. I wanted a father figure. I wanted the father’s love I never enjoyed. The man, my father had beat a hasty retreat when my pain episodes started plus the financial burden. I wanted someone older who would be my father, big brother, mentor, husband and friend. In my sojourn they don’t come easy. At the meeting, actually my university’s alumni meeting, I met him. My Prince charming. My Knight in shinning armor! He had finished eight years before me and was a widower. He had no kids and was looking to find love again. I batted my false eye lashes at him upon being introduced( actually I had forced a mutual acquaintance to do the honours) He looked me over, interestedly. I tried to be all brightness and light( an aberration for me, as I was all melancholy). To cut a long story short, we had a six month courtship. I was courted i...

Some days were good, some days were bad. The good days were the pain free days, the bad days were the pain wracked days. There were days I would request, literally beg my physician for a double dose of pain meds given intravenously so as to be able to get to work and stay at work. Yeah, that bad. There were also days I would call in a nurse to give the much needed pain relief with the usual Pentazocin and Dichlofenac injection meds, because my pain ridden body couldn’t make it to the nearest hospital. There were days the pain meds would need to be given at increased frequency, because the pain was refusing to go away. Days Saline infusions would need to be given to flush the stubborn sickle cell shaped cells clogging my blood vessels, causing unbearable pain. There were days of endless groaning on hospital beds. And there were days of gradual respite from the pain. Indeed, there were days of Sunshine and days of rain. I was doing well financially and career wise. I was a banker who...